I’ve been on several online dating web sites for almost a year now. I started because my therapist thought I should stop mourning my last (very long-term) relationship with J and move on. She has been married for many years but knew from her clients that online dating is where you meet men, especially when you’re 50something in NYC. She also suggested that I try kayaking!
I first started with chemistry.com, because it was on the Yahoo! main page. Stupid reason, I know, and I learned my lesson too because that subscription web site was fraught with scam artists who wanted my money, my vagina, my identity. Next I moved onto JDate since I am so comfortable with Jewish men. I “met” a few nice guys but they were in Florida, California, and Illinois. Is God trying to tell me to get out of New York, since I was having no luck meeting a mensch here?
I am still friendly with a couple of these out-of-state guys from JDate, one who is sweet but is very shy about webcams, and another who likes to give me dating tips. I am now on eharmony and have met a smart, funny, down-to-earth teacher from the midwest. We have progressed through all eharmony stages of getting to know someone and have had a couple of long wonderful conversations.
I never expected to be trolling online for suitable men at the age of 50. It’s spring 2011 and I’m perimenopausal, often irritable, contemplating getting out of NYC, wondering what work will be more gratifying for me during the next 17 years of Work before retirement. I turn 51 this year. Who knew that finding a decent, smart, funny, intellectual, well-adjusted, physically active middle-aged guy (preferably Jewish) who’s not insane—would be like winning MegaMillions.
I don’t want to be trolling online anymore, I don’t want to know how many rugrats you have, what your hobbies are, how many ex’s you have, and if you’re doing work that you love to do. My eharmony subscription ends in three months. I’m not renewing.