My single guy friend exhorted, “You’re not supposed to date anyone who’s never been married!” We like to remind each other when one or the other has transgressed our dating rules. At our age, we’re both 50something, we must date people who have been married and if they have children, they must be college age or older. And once again I had transgressed one of these rules. No one who is over 40 should be in the ‘never married’ category, we say. Something is clearly wrong.
My last boyfriend, if you could call him that, lasted two months. Most of that time we were cyber friends and lovers. I think that’s a legitimate category in 2013. We did meet for a live date and it lasted 27 hours. And I thought things had gone well, until a week later he dumped me.
Then as I retrospectively dissected our emails, our conversations, the live date, I realized there were serious underlying issues which of course I had chosen to ignore as I was in blissfully in love. Even now, months later, I don’t regret the relationship. He was a very sweet kind man. OK, there were some serious neuroses, perhaps a slight personality disorder. No one’s perfect!
But I do need to recognize a red caution flag if a guy is 40 or 50 something and has never married. Something is definitely wrong.